My 12 year old daughter spends all spare time on iPod chat rooms. Can you suggest rules and regs we can introduce ?
2 experts and 2 parents have answered
I think one of the key ones that whilst in the chat rooms she is in the same room as you. Obviously as she gets older you can relax it but for now keep it social so to speak.
The next thing you need to do is have a conversation about online safety. You will inevitably get a raised eyebrow but really it is about going through the basics. Never give out personal information or addresses. You need to explain that although chatroom can be fun you need to understand that there are people on there who may not be what they seem.
Also tell her that she must speak to you if anyone says some something really nasty or inappropriate. You should also say that because it is behind a computer screen people think they can get away with saying things they wouldn't say in person but in some cases this could lead to trouble.
Of course the most obvious thing to do is to check which rooms she's going into and you can make a call but also try to engage your daughter as an equal so she understand where you are coming from.
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I recall a previous answer on Quibly (it may have been from you, James) where the poster told of how they demonstrated the perils of online privacy to some teenagers, by putting up on a projector all the personal data gleaned from their open social media profiles.
I think a really good way to demonstrate online security principles to a tween/teen would be for the parent to behave like a 'white-hat' hacker! Perhaps a savvy parent could warn their child: "Right, in the next few months I am going to register for your chat rooms under a fake name. When I do so you had better be operating proper privacy settings. If not, I will be able to eavesdrop on your conversations with your online friends!"
Nothing will provoke a teenaged girl to practice good online security, like the threat that her Dad may end up reading what she writes!
Better to announce in advance that you'll be testing her in this way. To announce after the fact that you spied on her would present trust issues.
What do you think, experts!?
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Thanks for that - very useful .
I didn't make it clear but her chat rooms are somewhat controlled (eg school class only) - issue is time she spends constantly checking
confined to her class or tennis club. Issue currently us the anount if time she spends miresi than worrying outsiders. The chat rooms are like a Reuters news report ie. non-stop so it's he thinks she's missing something by not checking it constantly !
All the best