2 experts and 1 parent have answered
The most important lesson for kids on Facebook is for parents to model good behaviour online themselves. If they are over sharing, not being nice online, showing ignorance around privacy settings, then it's going to be the blind leading the blind...which I'm afraid for most adults that is exactly what it will be. How can any parent hope to educate their child about Facebook and other online pursuits when most parents are not getting up to speed themselves. If you are truly up to speed as a parent (and not kidding yourself), then make sure you understand how Facebook works first. Everything you share on Facebook can go public, and probably will. Set all the privacy settings up to the max, but don't rely on them. Stay out of fights online, report bullying and support the victims. Use Facebook for the good it can do, not the bad. Use Groups for sharing, don't sign your kids up underage. And parents for goodness sake attend an #eSafety education evening, the way we use apps and social media is entirely different from the way kids use them. Please don't wait until you need to see me as a client in crisis before you do some of the most basic safety things.
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I would not even recommend even a 13 year old to use facebook. Even if I have one, I don't use it that much. Recently, Facebook is being considered as a corporate website rather than personal (I've read that in IT magazines), and is usually more convenient for corporate employees than ordinary people.
Same was with ICQ. I had ICQ UIN since 11 years old and used it to chat with people from my forums, then - with kids/teens around my country (xUSSR), in 15 years old I stopped using it. It also was blocking children under 13, even if they had actual permission from parents. And as a matter of fact, it was introduced as a dating (!!!) service.
The only rules of all social media is that you should keep all pictures of yourself private, you should not use your real full names, you should not provide street address, phone number etc publicly at all, you should be nice and polite to everyone who talks to you, and you should not hate, shun anybody just because you have different opinions, interests, experiences etc.
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It is not so much Facebook per se but the challenges faced by personal privacy/stranger danger and behaviour/bullying. I would definitely recommend looking at the CEOP videos especially Jigsaw and The Parents’ and Carers’ Guide to the Internet http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/